Divorce isn’t just something that falls under the umbrella of difficulties. The very person you’re trying to get a divorce from can be a hidden roadblock and if things don’t turn out the way they want, well, they can also turn their backs and get creative with their methods of vindication. This is why you need an experienced divorce attorney who can help you through the process. Here is everything you need to know about dealing with a difficult spouse during a divorce.
Tips For Dealing With A Difficult Spouse During A Divorce
Set Boundaries
Look, it’s normal to be with a person you’ve spent a lot of time with, had children with, lived together with, and be on their side, but it is not normal at all to let them walk all over you when times get rough and things aren’t working out. Sure, during your marriage, you might have let a lot of things slide and that’s ok, but now is not the time to make the same mistakes.
You can’t expect people to change and if you don’t set boundaries or be loud and clear that you’re not going to let your soon-to-be ex-spouse take everything and leave you in the dust, then only you will get burned in the end. This is why setting boundaries and not letting yourself become a doormat is important. It will only be better for you in the end.
Lawyer To The Rescue
Things can’t just work out between you too. If your spouse is uncooperative and is being difficult about letting you go, then you don’t need to try to convince them anymore. You can’t get a DIY divorce in this case. You should hire a lawyer and let them do all the talking for you.
Confronting your spouse can be hard and draining, especially if you’re not ending things on good terms. So, you want to figure things out with a lawyer and let them do all of the work for you. Once you get legal teams involved, it is way easier and your difficult spouse will have no choice but to stop being a menace.
Separate Yourself Financially
This is something you want to do immediately, because if you know that your spouse won’t let you go down easily, then they will try to drain all of the joint assets you have. That is usually the dirtiest trick in the book, but it is what it is.
This is why you want to separate yourself and protect your assets, so that they can’t exploit your money and try to get back at you. Your spouse will try to pull off every trick in the book, so you have to be prepared.
Take Care Of Yourself
This is something that should go without saying, but it is really hard to do when you’re in that position. When you’re going through something life-changing like a divorce, it can be draining and all you want to do is sit in bed all day and mope.
However, that is not what you want to do, because that is only killing you from the inside. You want to refresh yourself, go out and change your routine for a bit. You will feel better after this and you’ll know that it was what you needed all along.
Keep A Record
This is something that is smart to do, because if your difficult and vindictive spouse is steaming off on emotions, you need to think logically and save everything as evidence and give the record to your family attorney Fairfax VA. Anything that your spouse has done, whether it be verbal threats, spending your money in spite, or anything else, you need to have everything in record and documented, so that you can use this in court against the said difficult spouse.
This is a smart way to get back at your spouse and you won’t get in trouble for it because you’re not doing anything, but bringing everything out in the open.
Communicate – But Don’t Lose Yourself
If you want to try the communication route, then you certainly can, but you also want to pick your battles. Sometimes, things can get sorted out with communication and other times, it’s just a bust and nothing but a waste of time.
So, if you think that you can make your spouse understand with words, then go for it, but if you can’t, then it’s better that you don’t drain yourself more than you already are. Some people just don’t get the memo and that’s okay. It’s not your job to spell everything out for them.
Get Help From Courts
There are court orders out there that are meant to protect you. So, you want to take advantage of them as much as possible. If your spouse won’t leave you alone and has resorted to stalking you and your kids, then you need to get a restraining order or a protective order from the court for your safety.
This will only put the culprit, a.k.a. your spouse, in hot waters and you will be able to live your life while going through this rough patch. Get the courts involved and let them take care of the mess that is your vindictive spouse.
Don’t Let Kids Become A Pawn
Difficult and uncooperative spouses will go as far as using your own children against you and if that is something that you think your spouse can do, then you need to be prepared. You need to make the entire divorce process as uncomplicated for the kids as possible, because involving the kids in your mess won’t end well.
If your spouse is trying to pull all of the strings, then it’s only a matter of time before the rug slips from underneath their feet too. Make sure to keep yourself and your kids protected and contact your lawyer in case anything goes wrong.
Follow The Law
Whatever you do, you don’t want to take the same route your spouse did. It might be tempting to get back at your spouse with the same antics they’re pulling, but it won’t do you any good. Just be patient and believe in the system.
The wrongdoer will get their punishment, and you will walk with your head held high. The law and the court are there to protect you, so have some faith and take all of the necessary measures you can to protect yourself until things get sorted out for good.
Have A Support System
You might feel like you’re on the battlefield alone and you have no one to talk to, but that is only because you haven’t asked anyone for help. This is bad because people are all around you and they’re ready to help you in every way they can.
All you need to do is reach out your hand and someone will take it. Having a support system can do wonders for your mental and emotional well-being and it will make you stronger and more resilient in life.
Conclusion
Divorcing from a difficult and uncooperative partner is hard, but not impossible, which is why you need to keep these tips in mind so that you don’t lose your mind. Remember that the first you should do is hire a divorce lawyer Fairfax VA who can help you plan your moves.